Babysitalia
by Retro-AFC
Summary: Maybe picking Prussia as a babysitter isn't the smartest idea in the world. But at least he had enough of a brain to ask his nemesis Hungary to help babysit the younger nations while the world meeting. spoofing Babysitters Club kind of. Please Review!
1. Gilbert's Great Idea

Chapter 1: Gilberts Great Idea

"You WHAT?" Hungary snapped and swung her frying pan and almost hit Prussia's….Well, we'll not go there.

"I didn't want to do it! But I was bribed! So I'm stuck into babysitting!" Prussia yelped as Hungary went for another swing "And you seem good with children –like Italy- Please! Help an Ex-Country in a time of need!"

Hungary stopped swinging and began to rub her temples.

"Alright, let me get this straight, you're stuck babysitting the younger countries because you don't have anything better to do?"-Prussia nodded-"WHO THE HECK'S IDEA IS THAT?"

"What? I am an **AWSOME** older brother! Calculations? An **AWESOME **babysitter!"

Hungary pointed her pan at his nose "You're asking for it! And alright, I'll help you babysit since you begged-"

Prussia put a hand on her lips "AND I'm **AWESOME**!"

_BANG!_


	2. Alfred and The Phantom

Chapter 2: Alfred and the Phantom Story

**Hi! I try to keep the book titles as the chapter titles it's suppose to be 'phantom phone calls' but I'm not exactly sure what time limit this should be set in if phones were invented. LOL! Because there's little colony America and his brother, and stuff like that. Well enjoy reading this chapter! eto~ eto~**

"Now Alfred, the only reason why I'm sending you here is because you can discover that there are tons of idiots out in the world," Arthur explained,

"and this is just a basic since your still a colony, alright Alfred?- Alfred! Are you even listening?"

Alfred looked around at the outside of the carriage in awe at where they were "It's all so new…."

"ALFRED!"

Alfred turned his head and looked at the angry Englishman, "Everyone is _bloody _idiots?"

England sighed "Indeed."

* * *

"Ohohoho!~ If I knew my Matthieu was being cared for from a beautiful mademoiselle, I might need a babysitter!" France swooned.

Hungary poked her pan in Francis' stomach "shut it frog! I'm not interested in your perverted opinions!" _I swear, if the kids a pervert I'll take that brat over my knees and beat the French crap right out of him! _Liz thought and batted her frying pan in her hand.

France sighed dramatically, "If you only knew me." He shook his head "_mon fils!"_

Just then a little boy with messy hair came in carrying a polar bear and hid behind France.

"_Mon fils_ is shy. I don't know why exactly, he just is." France patted Canada and left.

Hungary stood there in silence and stared at Canada, who stared back at Hungary. That carried on for awhile till it was interrupted by Gilbert, who was lying on the floor staring at the ceiling. "

I'm bored."

"WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED BABYSITTING YET!" Hungary snapped.

Hungary cleared her thought and smoothed her dress.

"So, Matthie- uh, Matthew, how old are you?" Matthew stared at her and smiled.

Hungary repeated question, still no answer. Prussia, who was curious that the 'punk' wasn't replying, went over.

"Maybe he's playing charades." Prussia studied the kid. "You're a duck? Wait-NO! You're a…."

Liz rubbed her hand down her face. "HE'S NOT PLAYING CHARADES YOU IMBISLE!"

"_Bonjour." _Matthew said, not really sure what to say at the scorned woman and the bleached haired guy.

"He only speaks French." Liz sighed.

"_oui_!" Hearing the word French, Canada figured she had must've asked him something.

"aw, that sucks." Prussia pouted.

* * *

"What's with your outfit?" Alfred tugged on a loose area.

Prussia turned red and ripped the fabric out from Alfred's hand "DON'T TOUCH ME YOU LITTLE MORON!"

Alfred pouted "I'm borrrreeeeddddd…." He whined.

Prussia sighed and got on one knee "I know what to do…HUNGARY! ENTERTAIN THIS KID!"

Hungary glared. "I'M TRYING TO FIND MATTHIE-MATTHEW!"

Matthieu was following her wondering what she was looking for. Matthieu was determined after that day he was going to learn a different language.

"Alright, since I'm going to have to entertain you, I'll tell you a little story."

"Ooh! Make it one about a hero!" Alfred sat on the ground and pretzel his legs.

Gilbert scratched his neck and tried to think of something. "I'll tell you about an ex-country." Prussia sat on the floor and did the same as Alfred.

"Is he dead?" Alfred gasped thinking it was a hero who died trying to save someone.

"NO!" Gilbert hissed "He's living… He-"

"Does he live near here? Can I see him?"

Prussia gritted his teeth. "He's very close."

Alfred grinned.

"Well, it's about the **AWESOME** hero as a kid. And what he saw."

"What'd he see?" Alfred scooted closer to Prussia, who scooted away.

"Ghosts"

* * *

"WHERE'S AMERICA?" Liz went over and shook Prussia who had dozed off.

"Somewhere in the east…" He yawned.

"NO! Grr, ALFRED!"

"Oh, under the couch."

Hungary rushed over to the couch and lifted the couch drapes. "Alfred, honey are you okay?"

"G-ghosts….." Alfred shuttered.

"There's no ghost, if there is, I can get rid of them."

"P-Prussia says ghosts are everywhere. He told me ghosts 'might' not get me as long as I left him alone, because he was cursed…I'm never going to step near him again…."

"Excuse me for a moment." Liz went and picked up her frying pan and walked towards Gilbert.

* * *

"I swore there were more young countries besides these two." Liz wondered.

"They're probably not here yet. Not everyone lives right next to this building. Actually, no one does."

"Don't get smart with me!"

"Yes mam!"

**

* * *

**

**Sorry for some OOC. **

**Please Review! And also I need more ideas.**


	3. The Truth About Gilbert

**Sorry for the wait ^^;; I'm going to be making some twists to this... So...Is this going to be even more crackier then before? o.o? **

Chapter 3: The truth about Gilbert

It was another world conference. It had been just Matthew and Alfred as the clients kids, but, there had to be more kids...right?

"And that's a dude looking at porn" Prussia lay on the floor with Alfred laying next to him looking at the popcorn ceiling. it had been three years since Alfred and Matthew started being babysat, and now the two children were 10.

"Really? looks more like a hamburger." America said, "speaking of which, can we go someplace? I'm sick and tired of just staying at this house. It sucks." America sat up and stretched.

"Nope, we're staying here. number one: That's what the parents asked, and number two: I feel to lazy right now." Prussia got up off the ground and yawned.

Alfred pouted. "Well if you won't take me, I'll go find a friggin McDonalds on my own!"

Alfred stood up and stomped towards the door.

Gilbert still lay on the floor, "Go ahead."

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"Hello, aru?" a man stood at the door with 3 kids.

"JAPAN!" America tackled one of the kids the man brought. "Are ya gonna be babysat tooo? That'd be awesome!"

"It'd be cool or swell!" Prussia rebuked, "Only I am **AWESOME**!"

Hungary came to the door holding Canada's hand, she decided she'd hold the little child's hand, just in case she can't find him. Even though during the three year period, Matthew learned English. "Ah, China, it's so nice to see you. Are these your...?"

China smiled, even though he is a he, he is sometimes mistaken as a woman. "Yes, aru. they forbid me to bring these three anymore. Mostly Yong Soo." He patted the child with a curl sticking out.

"I want Aniki's breasts." Korea stated.

"...That's...Nice." Hungary cleared her throat. "Well, I must say, we can keep them maintained. I have been babysitting these two-" Pointing to Matthew and Alfred "for three years."

"Aiya! That long?"

"And also even if their hasn't been world conferences. So trust me, my babysitting skills are quite exquisite."

"Hey! Don't hog the spotlight! I've been helping too!" Prussia ran over pouting.

"Oh yas, I also babysit him too." Hungary smirked and patted Gilbert's head who turned red and stormed away.

* * *

Yao and Hungary continued there conversation for a very long time. Alfred got bored, so decided to go over to Gilbert who had his face in a pillow.

Alfred tapped Gilbert. "Do you like Liz?"

Gilbert's face flushed. "...What the hell? why the hell did you ask that?"

"Well do you?"

"...Alright, don't tell anyone. I...Yes...I do. But I swear, I'll rip off your BEEP if you tell-"

"HEY HUNGARY!"

Hungary turned her head and looked down at the american. "hm?"

"Prussia is in LoOoOve with you!"

Prussia jumped out the window to commit suicide.

* * *

And thus, China decided to skip the world meetings and help out babysitting while Prussia recovered on the couch of a broken leg.

* * *

**Reviews don't cost much(they're free) can you give me one?**

**And yas, China is now another babysitter! :D**


	4. Yao Saves The Day!

**Wow 2 chapters, in one day! 8D**

Chapter 4: Yao saves the day

"Someone get me ice cream..." sniffled Gilbert as he sat on the couch with his legged propped up.

Hungary smirked. she's been doing that alot lately ever since she found out the news from Alfred. "I will."

America and Canada hopped up and down excitedly, "WE WANT SOME WE WANT SOME!" They said in unison.

"I will kill you Alfred!" Prussia sobbed.

Alfred stuck his tongue out "Then try getting me!"

Prussia started to get up off the couch. "You little-" _FLOMP!_ "WYAHHHH"

China ran over wondering why Prussia screamed like a little girl, and saw him face forward on the ground.-Weeping.

"Aiya! How did you do this, aru?" China tried lifting Prussia-and failed, "Alfred! You're a strong boy! Help me get Gil back on the couch, aru!"

Alfred hopped back, "No way she-dude! He'll try ripping off my-"

"ALFRED, ARU!" China tried supporting Prussia but was slipping. America came over and grabbed Prussia's legs and China and he put him back on the couch.

"I hate you..." Gilbert hissed at America. America ran off yelling "I'M THE HERO! HERO NEEDS ICE CREAM!"

Hungary came back with ice cream, "What is all this screaming about?"

"Don't worry, I saved the day." China says grinning.

"But I'm the hero!" America protested.

* * *

"Kikuuuu...Play with meeee!" America whined. Japan was in his 'emo corner' sulking about life.

"I'll play with you!" Taiwan ran over and hugged Alfred, Alfred ran away screaming.

"Hrmph!" Taiwan crossed her arms and stormed away.

"Aniki!" Yong Soo ran over and tugged onto his older brother's shirt.

"I don't want to hear about my man breasts, aru!" China retorted.

"No! Even though I want them, but, that's not what I mean, Kiku isn't playing with me or Taiwan!"

"Japan, aru!"

Japan turned his head and glared clutching his knees, "What?"

"Play with your little siblings, aru."

"I hate my life. It sucks." and then, Japan got up with his sullen face and went into a closet.

"Aniki, Japan has problems."

"You do too, aru."

* * *

"I-I don't feel good." Canada whimpered.

Hungary let go of Matthew's arm and felt his forehead. "You feel a little warm."

Alfred ran over and felt his brother's head. "YOU'RE BURNING!"

"Don't make him worried!" Scolded Hungary.

Matthew clutched his stomach. "I need... To...Go to the-" To late.-He barfed.

"That's disgusting!" Alfred said and clutched his own stomach.

"RUN TO THE BATHROOM IF YOU NEED TO VOMIT!" Hungary yelled. But again, to late.

* * *

Now there was two sick children, and one adult with a broken leg.

"I want some ginger ale!" whined Alfred.

Canada coughed, "I want my-"

"Elizabeth is at the store, aru!" China yelled

"I have to use the bathroom!" Gilbert called from the other room.

"Hold it in, aru!"

"Aniki! Taiwan wants me to cross-dress! I said yes!"

"Come back Korea! I'm not done with you yet!"

"Ginger aaaaale..."

"I CAN'T HOLD IT!"

"Can I get my polar bea-"

"AIYA! I can't be everywhere at the same time!"

And then a little boy in the closet said "life sucks."

* * *

**This was weird... Please review! 8D**


	5. Elizabeth's Mistaken Three Pills

**Dang it, running out of ideas! DX**

It was a week later after the flu event, Prussia was still on the couch, and Hungary and China went back into their babysitting routine.

Chapter 5: Elizabeth's mistaken three pills

Alfred finally said yes and played with Taiwan who brought some barbies, Yong Soo played with them too, and demanded that the Asian doll (Who Taiwan wanted) was China, and he played with her. Japan was in his emo corner, and Canada was -not on purpose- playing hide and seek, but no one was caring on seeking him.

"Aren't kitchen utensils so nice to use?" Hungary asked China, they were discussing the most oddest things while drinking coffee.

"Aiya! I know! aru! There nice to use on dangerous people, and your own kids!" China nodded.

"Marry me Hans Fredrick Bob!" Taiwan made her Barbie say to Alfred's 'Ken'.

"Sorry, I can't! I'm the hero! Hero's don't have time to fall in love, Stacy." Alfred said.

"So much drama..." Korea lay his head on the floor staring at the two dolls intensely. Hugging the 'China' doll in an awkward area.

"Wait for me Hans! I love you!"

"kay." And Alfred's Ken flew off and made_ Whoooooshhh_! sound affects.

"SHUT UP YOU TURDS!" Prussia screamed. "My **AWESOME** leg is hurting the shit out of me!"

Hungary sighed and set her cup down and picked up a medicine container. "The doctor said if it hurts this much, we're going to have to drug you up."

"What the hell is up with that crack-pot assumption?" Prussia cried.

Hungary opened the lid off the container and dropped out three pills. "open up."

Prussia struggled and screamed not wanting to take any, so Yao had to come over and hold him down and open his mouth.

And finally they got it in his mouth. "There, all better?" Hungary said in a sweet sarcastic voice.

Gilbert whimpered and glared.

* * *

It took an hour for the pills to kick in.

"Ya know somethang Lizzy fizzy? I love you! You're so sexy!~" Prussia giggled, "Aaand, You're locky jocky is just so ocean-rific!"

Hungary twitched her eye. "Did I give him to many?" She picked up the bottle and read the description 'one pill'

"Oh shit-" she covered her mouth and eyes wide.

Then he started singing, "Summer love'n happened so fast..."

"I'll be back, aru!" China ran out the door with his children.

"COME BACK LIKE A MAN! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Hungary cried. "Damn it."

"I blew a spit bubble. Isn't that awesooomeee? I'm soo awesummmmm..."

Hungary went and hid in a closet. "Ack! Japan! You should've left with China!"

"You're so nice maaan, I love you." Prussia grinned stupidly at Alfred.

Alfred being clueless grinned back, "you ain't angry at me anymore?"

"Angry? ANGRY?" Prussia sat up. Alfred took a few steps back. "Who's angry...Isn't that my pet hamster? or is it your grandmother's hamster?"

"I don't own a hamster. England says they're going to all die."

"Then it must be him." Prussia coughed.

"Who?"

"Him."

"Who?"

That continued for awhile before Hungary came out of the closet and explained that Prussia wasn't 'feeling well' so go play with your brother.

And then they couldn't find Canada.

So they went on a huge search, but Canada was still holding Hungary's hand.

* * *

**Yeah, I was losing it during this chapter. o.o please review!**


	6. Chapter 6: Alfred's big day

**Yay! Prussia can walk on crutches! XD**

Chapter 6:Alfred's big day

"Wheee~ Guess what Prussia, Yao, aand Hungaaarryyyyyy!" America came spinning into the building as England had dropped him off and left for some 'special' place.

"What is it you turd?" Gilbert crutched over and poked Alfred in the stomach with his right crutch.

"It's my birthday~" Alfred sung and spun away from the Prussian.

Canada walked in and smiled, "I-It's also my birthda-"

"Happy Birthday Alfred! Arthur called me ahead of time. So you're now eleven?" asked Hungary ruffling America's hair.

"Yup!"

"eleven is a cursed age..." Prussia murmured.

"Why?" America asked horrified.

"Bwahahahahahahaha..."

~~Gilbert's Story in his POV~~

It was my eleventh birthday, no one cared.

a 7 year old Ludwig walked over, "Happy birthday bruder!"

"get away from me you shit-brain." I spat. He was OBVIOUSLY being sarcastic. I stormed away until Vati choked me by grabbing my shirt collar.

Then my Vati started to scream at me and smack me abusivly and I didn't do ANYTHING wrong. And then I was locked in a dark dungeon(called his bedroom) until supper time.

But I decided to escape out the dungeon window and hid in the forest till everyone thought I died. And I looked like a ghost when I came back a year later. I survived off rasberries so I looked like I had blood on me. And so the spirits of the earth all came and decided I was a new spirit. So I found out how to fly.

And then I-

~~END OF STORY~~

"THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN YOU MORON!" Hungary slapped Prussia upside the head, "Your grandpa invited me and Austria over and we played hide and seek in your yard! And you fell in a pit, and we looked for you all night till 3 A.M."

Prussia rubbed his neck, "It happened, I just got my ages mixed up."

"Don't lie to children." Hungary gave him the death glare.

They argued for awhile. Alfred got bored and wondered where Yao was.

"Where's China?" His thought said aloud.

"She's out picking up your shit-filled birthday cake." Prussia scoffed.

"It is chocolate." A voice said from the doorway.

China and his three children walked in.

"Happy birthday Alfie!" Taiwan kissed Alfred and wrapped her arms around him.

Alfred being in the age where you understand girls, blushed until he looked like a tomato. (As Spain woud say.)

"Happy birthday." Japan sighed. China had him by the collar so he wouldn't go run off and hide in a corner or closet.

"Thank you Kiku!" Alfred laughed and hugged him. Japan didn't return the hug.

"That cake was good." Yong Soo said.

"Cake...? OH NO YOU DIDN'T ARU!" China opened the box Korea was carrying-it was crumbs.

"Oh no! Alfie doesn't have a cake? You're so mean Soo!" Taiwan cried and hugged America, as if it was her cake.

Japan left unfazed and hid in a closet.

Korea burped.

Prussia fell.

Alfred cried.

Canada tried saying something but was interrupted.

China rubbed his forehead stressfully.

Hungary decided she'd make a cake by scratch.

lightning struck.

And then the door flew open.

"England?"

England was drunk.

* * *

England is drunk? Oh noes! Happy birthday poor Alfred! D:


End file.
